The Almost Love
by dragons-chronos
Summary: Natasha stared at her hands. She almost told him tonight. Tomorrow, they were going to travel back to time. Maybe when they come back she'll tell him. (It can be read with I Dream Of In 1945 and To Fall In Love.)


**Natasha stared at her hands. She almost told him tonight. Tomorrow, they were going to travel back to time. Maybe when they come back she'll tell him.**

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**I don't own Marvel or the characters. I own nothing here except for the plot. Please read and review. ****It can be read with I Dream Of In 1945 and To Fall In Love.**

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**The Almost Love**

Natasha looked at the sleeping figures of her friends. Everyone laid on the couches, floors, and chairs haphazardly. Clunk- Thor's beer fell off from his hand. She sighed. Nebula was on a chair, stiff and unmoving, asleep.

...

Shiver- Rocket rolled over the carpet. She stood up and gave him her blanket. The spy glanced at them, the old and new Avengers, once more before she headed out. The past days reminded her of the last time they felt like a family. And the family that she lost.

But.

Nebula and Rocket had wormed their way in, five years, after the Snap. The two were no-nonsense, stubborn, sarcastic, and caring people. Hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. They made her recall of them. Always.

Her feet were silent against the marbled tiles.

Click.

The air in the patio was cold.

Smogs were becoming a decreasing issue around large cities. Up in the sky, she could see hundreds of stars blinking. The soft light around the patio didn't overwhelm the view. The spy didn't want to connect the healing phenomenon of nature to the bastard. Many were still struggling to let go. Many died on that day. Not just those who got dusted. But those who also died by falling planes, unmanned vehicles, and more catastrophes.

Natasha exhaled and inhaled. Stretch-

Tomorrow was their second chance. They could undo the Snap. Hope, it had been a long time since she hoped for a miracle. And it was here. Whatever it takes. She could see them again, Wanda, Sam, Nate, Lila, Cooper, Laura, and everyone else.

She's prepared. She knew her mission. No hesitations.

"Can't sleep?"

Natasha didn't need to turn her head to know who it was. Steve.

"Shouldn't old people like you be in bed? Tomorrow's a big day," she answered him. She clasped her hands and arched her back.

Steve walked to be near her. His eyes never left her. The summer night engulfed them. He wanted to enjoy the silence between them. Alone together. Silence. Everything was ready, and the preparations were complete. She was right, tomorrow's a big day. But times like these brought him comfort.

"The weatherman said tomorrow's going to be sunny. We'll get clear skies," he told her. His voice was sure. "If everything's going as planned, we'll have them back."

Natasha breathed in and out. She continued her routine.

"I'm going with Tony and Scott," he said to her. Then Steve crossed his arms. "You could trade places with Scott for New York. You'd fit in well, spy tricks and misdirection."

She snorted. "You boys could take care of it. Besides, Clint and I could handle an alien planet. It'll be like Budapest for us or like after the Raft..."

The captain smiled at her. He remembered the days with Sam and Wanda along with them, traveling one place to another. They'd been to many places, many views. The quiet days, missions, and helping the people around them when they were on the run. Sometimes he missed those days before the chaos- Thanos.

"Budapest? Look on the bright side, if you want, after we get them back, we could take a vacation. Get a life," Steve offered to her. Deja vu. It was like their previous conversation before Scott came to them.

"You first," Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Me first? We both need to get a life. Sam would agree with me. Remember, London? Two friends sightseeing."

"Friends? You teamed up against me with Rhodey on Morgan's birthday party. My favorites clothes ruined, I can't get the stain out of it. That reminds me. You owe me a new set of shoes."

"Nope. That's Rhodey," Steve locked eyes with her. He sat down onto one of the benches in the patio.

Natasha finished her routine.

"We could go back to Havana. Or try Jeju island. Tony told me about it," he said to her. "Morgan loves the place. A little vacation together- with them too."

"I have a job," she scoffed. "We still haven't brought them back yet. Also, the mission's tomorrow..."

"All work and no play, they'd be quite worried about you. You know that, Nat? We'll bring them back. Whatever it takes, it's going to work this time."

"Take your own advice, Steve. You're too optimistic. But that's always you."

"And you're stronger, stronger than I have been. More optimistic. These five years you've held on. You keep this fort together," the captain argued passionately. She was back in it again, and he would remind her again and again. "Many children out there are safe because of you. You had more faith..."

"Me? Optimistic?"

Steve reached out to touch her hand. He held on it firmly. "You are."

She looked at him and took her hand away. They both glanced away from each other. The awkwardness trickled around them. Their hands were like lightning hot. Natasha then sat next to him. Not too close to him.

"Everything's changed," she stared at the rustling trees. Steve grimaced, his jaw clenched.

"Yes. Everything's changed, Nat."

"We're people hung up on the past," Natasha absently said to him. He knew it well.

"But tomorrow, we're going to change things for the better. We'll see them again," Steve turned to face her. The spy's silhouette against the soft lights gave her a look. He didn't dare say it, but she looked angelic at that moment. His hands itched to sketch her right then and there.

Then she turned to face him. Her lips formed a small smile. The red and gold of her hair shimmered like glazing fire. His heart constricted. But he ignored it. No distractions, not now, when tomorrow's import-

"Sam's birthday will be next month. He's turning, what? 38? 43?" Natasha asked. It was more to herself than to him. "His mom's gone. We could make it a small affair."

...

"I sometimes visit her and Pietro," he chipped in. His mind was back again on the green fields marked with the names of people long gone.

"Peggy?"

"Hers too."

"She'd always been your gal."

Steve could hear something else from her voice. But. "My girl."

"Sharon's not going to like it if she comes back. You still hung up on your girl. The aunt and niece? Didn't know you had it in you, old man," Natasha teased him. He chuckled at the thought of it- him, Peggy, and Sharon. Then his mind wanders back to Natasha. No, she's his friend. He knew where they were and his content on what they have.

Natasha watched him deep in thought. She wondered what was he thinking. There was an empty pit in her stomach. Five. Five years after the Snap and seven years before it, that's how long they knew each other. And the past years, she thought they-

The redhead shook her head. They were in a loop again. She needed to think ahead, to distract herself.

"Not us, we all don't move on easily," she smirked at him. Those were the words she settled in. Her mask backed up again, she won't cry this time.

"Yeah, not us," Steve agreed. "I guess we're all kinda stubborn."

"Kinda?"

"You've become sentimental, Nat. It's a compliment."

"Right. Anyway, Bucky's birthday had already passed. Then we got Lila and Cooper's coming up in September. Then, Wanda's birthday is on November first."

"Hmmm, we got to give them a birthday party to make-up for the five years."

"Wanda's supposed to turn 21 in 2018. That's an important one."

Their heads were in full swing, making plans if they'd have them back. A needed distraction before tomorrow.

Then, after a few minutes of debating on their plans.

...

Natasha took a hard look at the captain as he talked. He still looked youthful despite his age. But the lines between his eyes and creases on his forehead told her a different story. The parties, activities, and meetings for the Snap over the years had been a charade. Both masked the pain and longing in their hearts.

The questions of happiness and moving on- routine. Hypothetical plans and make-believe faith of a miracle had waned over five years. But now Scott had brought them hope.

Maybe she could reach out to him, to almost tell him. Her hand crept up slowly to be near his hand. Fool. He got his girl. And she's not that girl. Her eyes flew up to his face as he let out a small yawn.

"Steve," she started. He stared at her. "I- you're sleepy, old man."

"Yeah. We should get some sleep, Nat. I'm going in," Steve stood up and held out his hand. He smiled at her. "Let's go together."

Natasha stared at his hand. Hers froze up. She cleared her throat. "I'm going to sleep later. Go inside, Steve."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure. Remember Scotland? I have to clear my mind for a while."

"Alright, I'll go in," Steve complied with her request. He held her shoulder as he spoke. Then, he tucked his hands inside his pockets. "See you in the morning, Nat.."

"Steve..."

"Yes? Changed your mind, Nat?"

"No. Goodnight and see you tomorrow."

Steve turned his head to her with a small smile and a short wave. He hesitated like there was something he wanted to say. But he later walked away back inside.

And.

Natasha was alone in the garden. She gazed at her hands. Blood. All she saw was blood. Her heart was beating fast. She almost told him.

* * *

The watch on her wrist told her it was half-past midnight. She wandered around the halls of the compound. For the first time since the Snap, the place was full of life and hope. Tony and Thor had avoided the site for some time. Moreso with Tony. While Tony and Steve reconciled over the years, she had become their arbitrator. Pepper certainly helped. But the compound remained empty except for her and the occasional visits of the new Avengers.

"Part of the journey is the... end..."

Natasha could hear Tony's voice. She saw one of the conference rooms doors ajar. Tony was still talking. Her hand lingered over the door as she peeked.

"I love you, 3000."

Tony reached out and turned the recording off. She knocked lightly against the wooden door. Turning his head, Tony looked surprised to see her. She gave him a small smile and entered the room.

"What's the recording for?" Natasha asked him. The inventor sat up from the chair he'd been sitting.

"You're awake," Tony remarked. He took the helmet from the coffee table, and it merged back to his reactor. "Just a sec, FRIDAY, upload the video in the main hub back home. Keep it encrypted, and alert Mr. Fraser about it."

"Yes, boss," FRIDAY's voice echoed out from his wristwatch. Natasha raised her eyebrow.

"Fraser, your lawyer? Making goodbyes, Tony?" Natasha looked at her friend. She crossed her arms while leaning against the wall.

"Gut feeling. Though, it's more of assurance for Pepper and Morgan," the inventor said. He turned the chair and sat on it again. His hand gestured for Natasha to sit. "Come on, Red, have a seat."

"I'm good."

"That's nice. My bones are getting older, and some white hairs had popped up already. I'd never thought I'd reached this age. But here I am."

"Here we are," the redhead admitted. Her eyes never left the tired figure of the billionaire. "So, Fraser?"

Tony nodded his head. "Yes. I thought I'd leave a message in case if something happens. Learned that after Titan. I left Pepper with a little message. And out there- you've seen how worried she was."

"Yeah, she was distraught after the Snap. We were..."

"I can't put her through that again. Especially with our little girl."

"We won't."

"Yes, that's why I'm making my goodbyes. If I live, it'll be easy for me to erase it. But if worst-case scenario at least I settled my affairs."

Natasha had been there when Pepper was on labor. Steve and Rhodey were also with them accompanying Tony. It was one of the first steps of healing between the captain and inventor. Morgan. Tony and Pepper's little miracle. The little girl had changed Tony.

Morgan changed the man before her more than Pepper could, more than anyone could.

"Yeah. We've all come a long way since 2012," Natasha recounted. The booming sounds, alien invaders, and chaos, utter chaos of that day sparked in her mind.

"2010, remember? You broke Happy's back," Tony said as he scratched his head. Natasha scoffed.

"Instinct. Then you pissed me off."

"You spied on me. Textbook Narcissism? Then the injection, it stung, Red."

"You were being an ass."

"The good old days. Right?"

Both Avengers had a faraway look in their eyes. Memories of camaraderie, understanding, betrayal, and pain lodged a stake through their hearts. Fast. The years flew by so fast for them. Natasha walked to view the outside of the compound. Everything was the same and not.

The possibility of time travel made it all more pronounced.

...

The callouses on her hand were rougher. She saw the corner of her eyes were wrinkling. A nudge broke her trance as Tony stood up and gazed along with her. Tony was the same as her- aging. They would travel back to time to steal another chance of life for everyone.

"Red, Nat," Tony sound unsure. A rarity.

Natasha met his reflected eyes on the window. "Hmmm..."

"I guess it might be paranoia, but," Tony said as he walked next to her. "Will you tell him?"

"What's there to tell, Tony?" Natasha turned her head. There was a small bitter smile on her face.

"I've never taken you for the cowardly lion. You know what I mean. Steve. Think of me as you're Wizard of Oz to your lion problem."

"Oz was a hack. There's also nothing to tell Steve."

"Oz was brilliant. And. Before everything went to hell, I noticed you both. Still, after many years, you're circling each other. You're both almost..."

"Steve and I are friends. End of discussion."

Tony placed his hand on her shoulder. Natasha heaved a sigh.

"If that's what you want," Tony accepted. "But after the heist, you'll talk to him. Someone once told me to don't waste my life. Don't waste the chances we have. Nat. Or you could record a message with FRIDAY? I'll instruct FRIDAY later."

"Whatever you say, Tony," Natasha said with exasperation. There was merit in his words. But she was set, Steve was right, they were all kinds of stubborn. Then smirked as she fully faced him after a moment. "You're sounding like an old fossil."

Tony looked offended. "Me? A fossil? I was born in May of 1970."

"Old as a fossil," the spy teased him.

The inventor glared at her as she shrugged her shoulders. Tony then chuckled. This. He missed the Avengers. But he was glad for Natasha after all of these years. She was the glue, the soul of the team. Maybe Steve was the leader, and he the man behind the Avengers. But Natasha, she tied them all. She never abandoned ship. He respected that, especially after the Snap.

He'd back off this once for her.

"We'll be back for Morgan and Pepper," Natasha remarked. "We got lots of things to do after we bring everyone back."

"We got the team with us. Together."

Then-

"Tony, promise me you'll never tell him."

Tony frowned at her words. A sharp glare from Natasha made him gulped. He groaned. "I promise I won't tell him."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

Natasha watched the ticking watch. A few more hours, and they'll travel back to time. She dwelled on Tony's words earlier- goodbyes. Her head was spinning. It wouldn't hurt, would it?

"FRIDAY?"

"What can I do for you, Ms. Natasha?"

"FRIDAY, can you keep a recording for me?"

"Yes, Ms. Natasha. Shall I alert the boss?"

"No need. I just want you to keep this in your data and send it to my laptop in DC..."

* * *

"Good morning!" Scott greeted everyone in the kitchen. Nebula glared at the energetic man. Shivering, Scott felt scared, as she snarled. "Coffee?"

"I was still sleeping," the blue cyborg growled.

Rhodey walked and grabbed a cup of coffee. "It's still too early for this shit."

"Come on, carebear. You had worse mornings than this," Tony smiled at his best friend. He then slid a cup of hot chocolate to Nebula. The cyborg nodded to him in appreciation.

Bruce was whistling in the kitchen. The scientist was cooking breakfast for everyone. There were mountains of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausages. Everyone was busy and awake. Thor, Rocket, and Clint surrounded Bruce talking.

There was no sign of Natasha or Steve.

* * *

The soft lull of music echoed in the room. Natasha was spinning with grace. Her hair was in a bun. She looked like the ballerina she's supposed to be.

She turned and saw him. Steve was smiling. His smile caught her off guard.

"That was wonderful," the captain praised her. She gave him a small smile of her own.

"I've been dancing," Natasha said with a flippant air. She extended her arms as she went to the third position.

"Did you sleep since last night? I didn't see you go back in."

"I slept at one of the conference rooms."

"Well, we need to conserve our energy for later."

At the corner of her eye, he moved closer. Her heart skipped a beat. Stop. She cleared her mind. They were friends. Steve was still hung up on his girl.

"The song's familiar," Steve creased his eyebrows.

"Blue Danube. It's waltz, we danced with it on Tony and Pepper's ball," she supplied to him. A slow movement. The Madam at the Red Room would surely punish her at the sloppy transition.

"Nat."

"Yes."

Steve looked at her. "Thank you."

She chuckled at his thanks. "What for?"

"Thank you for being there. The hope and after all these years you're still here."

"That's nothing. This job, everyone, they're family. We do things for our family and loved ones. Didn't you told me that when we're on the run?" Natasha stopped to meet his eyes.

"I've been thinking about our conversation last night. Whatever it takes to get them back, we'll do it. And after everything, let's get a life together," he ended.

"I- let's see."

Steve took her hand, she didn't withdraw it. "Nat, thanks also for being my best partner."

She didn't want to put a label a the burning emotion in her heart, but it was almost-

"Ms. Natasha, Captain Rogers, they're asking for you in kitchens. Boss asked for reinforcements against Mr. Thor, and Mr. Rhodes," FRIDAY interrupted. The two froze, then broke apart in laughter.

"We're going, we're going," Natasha answered the AI. Together the two Avengers went back to the others.

* * *

The others saw them came in together and shared a smile at each other in secret. Natasha and Steve were almost there, maybe after this, it wouldn't be just almost.

* * *

Steve finished his speech. They were ready.

Natasha was smiling at them. "See you in a minute..."

* * *

Clint was staring back at her at the bleak cliffs.

She was falling for several seconds.

Seven minutes.

Within seven minutes, they say that the brain flashes your life as one dies. But she didn't see her past, her life. All she saw was that smile. The almost love, she never had.

This was for her family. She never did regrets. Yet, she regretted never telling him once.

* * *

The sky was different from the alien planet she'd been. It was also unlike the sunsets on Earth. All Natasha could see was brilliant orange tones. Her feet were bare as the waves of water caressed it.

* * *

Her watch was not working here. She was dead. Was this purgatory?

* * *

She stared at the expanse beyond her. There was nothing to do here but stare. She sighed. Then she heard a sound coming from behind her.

Tony.

"Agent Romanoff. You miss me?"

* * *

They'd been here for a while. But they were glad to have each other. Tony had told her what happened after she died. How they won and mourned.

Natasha turned to face Tony after he rambled about Morgan. "Did you tell him?"

Her dear friend smiled at her. "I kept my promise."

* * *

There was no time here. However, it seemed like they were waiting for someone. Then just like Tony, someone was stumbling towards them.

"Nat? Tony?"

The two could see Steve in front of their eyes. They both ran towards him. Well, she ran towards him as Tony watched with amusement.

"Steve? How are you here?" Natasha asked him. Her hands clasped his face. He looked older, like someone who had lived a thousand lifetimes.

"I miss you both?" Steve sheepishly answered. He couldn't believe there she was with him and Tony was there too.

"Steve Rogers!"

"Hey, Cap. Great to see you. It's becoming a bit boring here. Red certainly missed you."

"You missed me?" Steve looked surprised.

Natasha glared at Tony who just smirked at her.

Steve then hold her hand, surprising her. He was looking at the depths of her eyes. "Nat, you're my best partner..."

"Steve, I want to tell you..."

"I love you," they said to each other at the same time.

...

They both stopped and chuckled. If at almost they didn't profess their love for each other while living, they'd take their second chance here. No more regrets. Maybe the afterlife wasn't so bad. Almost.

Natasha and Steve never imagined that the life they'll get was the afterlife. Then Steve leaned in to kiss her.

Tony cheered at the back. The two people before him deserved to be happy. But right now he'll be waiting for his love. Death was another journey. It was part of life, and he had come to terms with that ever since at the darkened cave in Afghanistan. The journey of those who were alive was continuing. And he'd wait for Morgan and Pepper to greet him once more when they join him with their lives fulfilled.

In a blink, a bright light enveloped them. They hear sounds of merriment around them. When they opened their eyes, they saw several faces long gone. They had welcomed them with hugs, tears, forgiveness, smiles, and stories.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **

**I wanted to end it a bit sad. But my mind kept telling me they deserve to be happy at least in death. So, yeah. I hope the characters were not too much out of character. Now, I'm writing this note, this reminds of Beauty and the Beast musical scene "Something there." I almost ended it as sad, but I'm glad this turned out well even if I'm a bit reluctant on the quality on this.**

**It can be read with I Dream Of In 1945 and To Fall In Love.**

****Please read and review.****


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